Over the past few weeks I have encountered cause to look at the world through eyes filled with tears.
One of the most important people in my life is hurting - deeply, and I can not make it better for him.
Given just cause, the depth of sorrow is an emotion with which I am no stranger. Over two years ago, in the darkness of compounded loss, grief and despair, I wrote a piece which began ...
'We do not see clearly through eyes filled with tears...'
I no longer think this is true; on the contrary, I now believe that deep emotion allows us to tap into a clarity that would otherwise elude us. Allowing ourselves to feel the pain, to embrace the suffering - so painful though that may be - enables us to measure the extent of the injury. Only then, will we be able to fathom sense of what has become of us; only then, will we grow; and only then, can we begin to move forward.
The sorrow will prevail but we will endure.
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2 comments:
Thanks for your very honest and open posts on grief and your comment at my blog...
You are so right with your thoughts. I have seen much clearer through my grief and my way of looking at other people in general has become different, even if I cannot fully describe, what exactly is so different.
I think that time changes grief, but does not heal it. My feelings of being torn with grief have somehow changed in the underlaying feeling of missing someone which can almost hurt the same. And I wonder, if I will ever get an end to the questions 'what if / what if not'...
Despite all it kind of gives me comfort to realise how many people share this feelings. Makes me feel less vulnerable and makes me reach out more to others.
Take comfort, Muisto, though grief lingers - in whatever guise - with it's perpetual pain, the 'what ifs/what if nots' do fade when we reach 'acceptance'. 'Acceptance' has been my saviour. It does not come easily nor does it lessen the grief but - for me - 'acceptance' gives us the strength to endure and carry the pain; it gives us permission to move on and grow.
Remember, it is still very early days in your sad loss ... be kind to yourself.
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